


First Times

by LalliMachina



Series: Habits [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, basically i don't know what this is, i might write more i don't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:19:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5899843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LalliMachina/pseuds/LalliMachina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Never thought I'd be doing this.” He comments, a dry chuckle, seventeen year old Cas would not even go near beer, twenty six year old Cas has no problem snorting powder with his middle-age drug dealer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Times

**Author's Note:**

> So, yeah, I wrote a thing during class because I just love the concept of drug dealer!Crowley? Also I might write more of this and make it into a series I don't know, we'll see. Also this is bad, you've been warned

He snorts coke for the first time with Crowley. Well, it's not Crowley's first time, far from it. The way his hands prep the lines with Castiel's credit card on top of the coffee table swiftly gives it away. It's the first time Castiel uses anything besides weed though. And it feels fucking great. Crowley takes the rolled up dollar bill from his hand, their fingers brushing ever so slightly. His hand is warm, hard; neither of them comments.

“Never thought I'd be doing this.” He comments, a dry chuckle, seventeen year old Cas would not even go near beer, twenty six year old Cas has no problem snorting powder with his middle-age drug dealer. Crowley traces the line, a loud, harsh noise resonates in Castiel's ears. He throws his head back, a wide grin adorning his lips.

“Oh, there's always a first time, love.” 

A small smile appears in Castiel's features, as fake as the rush of excitement that runs over him. He can hear his blood pumping, he's aware of every little sound in the room, he can feel Crowley's eyes on him.

“Wow.” Again the word is spoken dryly, and if it seems that the word 'dry' is being used too much it's because that's how Castiel feels. Dry. Ever since Balthazar left, it was as if he'd taken Cas' personality with him to start his brand new life. The one in which boring old Castiel didn't fit. Left him empty, dry. He changed and Cas stayed the same, and the same just wasn't enough for him.

The laugh coming from the other brings him back to the present and his smiles becomes a little bit less fake. They're sat on the floor of Crowley's living room, by the glass coffee table. It's a nice apartment, filled with modern and expensive furniture. Crowley said he didn't care much about decor, that he just hired an interior designer because he didn't have time to do couch shopping, but Cas can tell that isn't true. The man likes expensive thing, from his furniture to his drugs. It's the first time he's been there, he's still not sure why he was invited over.

“Best product in the city.” A proud expression takes hold of his face, eyebrows raised and a smug smirk as he reaches and squeezes Castiel's thigh, looking for reassurance.

“I wouldn't know.” That makes Crowley grunt, already cutting two more lines.

“Come on, show some bloody emotion, you're high for fuck's sake.” 

A sigh. Boring, cold, dry Cas. Still monochrome even when he's on cocaine. He offers a sad smile that's retributed with an almost confused tilt of the other's head. His brow furrows before he asks.

“What happened to you?” The question is unexpected, somewhat intrusive, but he doesn't seem to care.

“What?”

Crowley does another line, rubbing his nose after he's done.

“Honey, I've sold enough dope to broken blokes to know one when I see one.”

He's good at this, isn't he? Castiel looks down, grabs the rolled up bill and snorts some more. Euphoria is finally starting to hit him. 

“I'm guessing daddy left you?”

“He got bored.” He says abruptly, even to his own surprise and to Crowley's, who frowns, mouth opened.

“Your father?”

“No–––––” a frustrated pause, “My ex.”

Silence falls for maybe ten seconds, but it feels like a whole hour. Their eyes meet and Cas can swear he sees something in the other's eyes. Perhaps compassion, a small gleam of desire.

“Of you?” His voice might be carrying a slight tone of astonishment, or maybe it's just Castiel's imagination.

“Of life.” The bitterness in the spoken words is undeniable, it's been two months and the wound is still bleeding. “The 'having a home and a job' lifestyle didn't suit him anymore.”

“And he decided you didn't go well with the new hippie one?”

A nod, again another right assumption. He purses his lips, wondering only for a second if he should say it or not, and the cocaine in his system has for him all talkative already.

“I would've gone with him, in a heartbeat. Anywhere he wanted, from Africa to the Middle East, anywhere. All he had to do was ask.” Nostalgia hits him and he can almost smell Batlhazar's scent, almost hear him say Cassie in that stupid accent of his, almost feel his lips on his own. 

“But he asked you the exact opposite, didn't he?” Crowley looks a him with unusually kind eyes.

“Stop it.” Another abrupt answer, his heart is beating too fast.

“Stop what?” Crowley moves closer, subtly, dark eyes fixed on Castiel's blue ones.

“All of this, you assuming things about my life–––––”

“And being right?”

That makes Castiel shut up. Fine, yes, it's because he's right, it's because he doesn't like to hear the truth being said out loud. It just makes it more real, more obvious that Balthazar isn't coming back to him, not any time soon.

Neither of them apologizes, that will become a bad habit in their relationship, but Cas feels finger brush against his cheek, a soft caress. 

“I can't understand why anyone would leave you behind.”

They fuck for the first time that night. And that's the only word that can be used to describe it. Fuck. It's dirty, sloppy, hungry, greedy. It's exactly what Cas needs, exactly what he wants. Nothing more than sex with a bad man who doesn't give two fucks about him. However it won't take long for it to become much more than that and Castiel'll wish that had been the last time.


End file.
